I will not bow down to the god you speak of
I will not put my faith in him.
You say he’s good
but I’ve heard his thoughts.
You say he’s enough
But I’ve watched him break.
You say he is pure
But I’ve felt his rage.
You say he can save
But I’ve feasted on defeat.
I will not bow down to that god you speak of
Because that god is only, me.
I wrote this after my fitness instructor told the class that it didn’t matter what higher power we worshiped because each of us was enough, in ourselves. But I’ve lived under that god’s miserable conditions before and it left me empty. I don’t want to worship at the altar-of-self anymore.
I need help from outside of myself. I need grace. I need mercy. If I put these needs on any created thing, it will rightly break. Fellow creatures were made to hold hands, not mountains.
Yet the true and living God reigns, saves, and satisfies our souls.*